人这一生，其实是干嘛？ 生活其实是什么东西？
我从来搞不明白为什么我要在这种世界上出生的

以前我认为像我那么年轻的人，我不该操什么心
只要知道享受生活，追求梦想
做自己喜欢的事儿，交很多朋友
吃什么好饭，穿什么好衣服，去什么好地方
品尝生活上各种各样的好品味就行了

只知道“你好”而不认识“再见”
我以为“再见”这两个字对我还没有什么作用
我们的未来还长着呢吗？
长着呢。。长着呢。。

最近我意识到生活原来很短很短
人生太衰弱了，没什么权利和力量
我该怎么办？

有的更幸运，知道自己的时间到底什么时候会结束的
可以把自己需要做的事做完
可以说自己想要说的话说出来
给别人机会留美好的记忆
不过你没那么幸运
你，离开得太早了，太早了
连做梦也想不到

你现在到哪里去了？在那儿干嘛？
想念了我没？
我想念你
心里的苦味都说不出来了
我该怎么办

你离开太早了，太早了
离开太远了，太远了

best thing that ever come in my life

Lama banget ga menulis disini. Tahun kemarin gw aga males2 nulis gitu, entah di tahun baru ini gw akan mulai rajin nulis apa malahan semakin males ya. Hehehe.. Tulisan gw hari ini akan menjadi tulisan yang serius, oleh karena itu gw akan menggunakan kata-kata baku. Siap-siap terpesona.. *apasih*

Tahun 2013 memberikanku banyak sekali hal-hal yang berbeda dari tahun sebelumnya. Aku belajar banyak, tapi kejadian yang terbesar adalah aku mengalami 2 hal terbesar dalam kehidupan di tahun lalu, pernikahan dan kematian.

2013 memberikanku kesadaran akan tibalah saatnya dimana kami (orang dengan umur sepantaran denganku) sudah cukup dewasa untuk membenah rumah tangga. Temanku menikah di akhir tahun ini. Sungguh kejutan yang menyenangkan. Tapi mungkin aku tidak menikah dalam jangka waktu dekat ini. Hahaha..

2013 tidak hanya memberikan sesuatu yang indah, tapi juga menyakitkan. Pada malam natal Bapa memanggil satu orang terbaik, terhebat, sahabat yang pernah kutemui dan miliki, Rico Johari. Aku tidak mengingat apakah aku pernah membahas tentangnya, karena ia ada begitu saja. Sampai menurutku, aku tidak perlu menulis namanya lagi karena memang dia selalu ada untukku. 

Aku tidak pernah berpikir tentang kematian. Menurutku kematian identik dengan orang-orang yang telah berumur dan orang yang memiliki penyakit. Sedikitpun tidak pernah terbersit dalam pikiranku apa yang terjadi apabila temanku, apalagi teman baikku meninggal. Kami (aku dan Rico) berdiskusi tentang banyak hal. Kuliah, pertemanan, asmara, karir, masa depan, bahkan pernikahan. Kami bertanya-tanya siapa kira-kira teman kami yang akan menikah duluan, sayangnya kami tidak pernah berpikir siapa yang akan meninggalkan kami terlebih dahulu. 

Ia adalah salah satu hal terindah yang pernah hadir dalam hidupku. Ia mengajariku banyak sekali hal-hal yang tidak kupikirkan sebelumnya. Ia mengenalkanku kepada dunia baru yang lebih indah, membuatku menjadi seseorang yang lebih baik dan pemberani. Tidak pernah sedikitpun aku berpikir ia akan meninggalkanku secepat ini, semudah ini, yah Bapa.. 

Lelucon, suara nyanyian, tawanya semuanya masih melekat jelas sekali.. Obrolan yang kami lakukan hampir setiap hari.. Kebersamaan yang kami lewati.. Aku benar-benar tidak percaya. Bahkan setelah aku melihat tubuhnya terbaring tak bernafas malam natal lalu. Wajahnya masih seperti biasa, hanya saja bibir dan lehernya yang mulai menghitam. Apa yang terjadi, Bapa? Bahkan ia masih memanggilku sehari sebelum pergi, walau kami tidak berbicara banyak.. Seandainya Kau memberikanku kesempatan melihatnya sukses.

"Ia akan menjadi sukses," aku mengatakan itu kepada ibuku suatu hari. ("Lu terlalu overestimate gw, Rei!". Aku yakin sekali ia mengatakan itu saat ini). Ya, aku sungguh-sungguh. Ia anak yang pintar dan mau berusaha.  Ia benar-benar akan sukses, seandainya dia diberikan kesempatan untuk membuktikannya. Walau bagaimanapun juga ia sudah sangat membanggakan kami, teman-teman terdekat, juga keluarganya.

Teman yang amat sangat sangat sangat sangat teramat baik yang pernah kumiliki, aku tidak melebih-lebihkan, sungguh. Tidak bosan kukatakan ia benar-benar merupakan teman yang sangat baik, sangat positif, sangat dewasa, sangat multitalented, sangat jayus, sangat menghibur, dan sangat disayangi semua orang. Aku menyesal dengan semua ini. Tapi aku terus membuat diriku percaya bahwa ini yang terbaik. Ia menyadariku bahwa kehidupan ini terlalu rapuh.. Manusia benar-benar tidak memiliki kuasa apapun. Aku hanya bisa berusaha terus melakukan perbuatan baik karena kita benar-benar tidak bisa memprediksikan masa depan. 

Terima kasih Bapa, Kau memberikanku kesempatan untuk mengenalnya, berteman dekat, berbagi banyak hal, menjadikannya teman terbaikku, membiarkanku menjadi teman terbaiknya. Aku amat sangat bangga bisa menjadi salah satu orang yang spesial dalam hidupnya. Aku tidak akan pernah melupakanmu, sahabat dengan inisial yang sama denganku, RJ. I really really proud of ever being one of your bestfriend. Thank you for every stories we have talked, every moments we have shared, thank you for everything. Now, for the first time I admit that u were gone.. May you rest in peace, Rico Johari

Shanghai post #3: Good Places to be Visited in Shanghai #1

After spend 6 weeks in Shanghai, I recommend you some places u should go when u come to Shanghai. But I easily forget place's name, I wish I can do my best to remembering the name of the good places I wanna mention here. Hahaha..So here is the list of places u SHOULD go when u in Shanghai:

1. 外滩 Wai Tan, The Bund

People say this is the symbol of Shanghai. The view is so great with the skyscrapers and European architecture on the both side. Blue sky and the lake just make the view excellent. I went both in day and night and I can't describe how beautiful it was, so I don't know which is more beautiful in day or night. You should try both because the view is just totally different between day and night. You can take a public boat to explore the beautiful lake about 5 minutes. It cost very cheap, I forget but i think only around 3-5 RMB. U can see the beautiful boats, beautiful buildings with beautiful lights. Perfect!

The Bund in the day

The Bund in the day. Fall in love with the blue sky and colourful umbrella

The Bund in Night

The Bund in Night

 2. 南京东路  Nanjing East  Road
The main road that located almost in the center of Shanghai is one of the never sleep area in Shanghai, Nanjing Road. Nanjing Road divided as Nanjing East and West Road, and my favorite and I know everybody agree with me is Nanjing East Road. Nanjing East Road block any vehicle to cross around. It looks so sophisticated and also beautiful. It also sells some local foods or snacks. This is a real Shopping World! and as other places in China, I found out a group of people are dancing, playing a music, etc. Feel so fun yet romantic.

Me and Jess

I love the red roses there.. So beautiful

Nanjing East Road in day

3. 田子坊 Tian Zi Fang
The other beautiful place in Shanghai that u really should to come. This is a small beautiful alley that I will never realize its existence if my friend didn't invite me to come to, Lol. However it is very famous and attract many foreigners. It has a lot of cafes and (maybe) a delicious foods. Yeah I didn't get the chance to try anything in here coz I always came too late. P.s. the foods here maybe a bit expensive.

Tian Zi Fang in night

Tian Zi Fang in the day. (I had never gone here in the day. I find this beautiful photo in Google and share it. Never know that Tian Zi Fang has a great view although it is a bright day)

Lucky me, I still had a chance to taste the famous of "Modern Toilet" in here. This is an ice cream restaurant that has an unique design. They make it as a toilet! U can see all the decorations are closet and also for the ice cream and cute merchandise.

Yah, as u see above, the ice cream is looks like shit. My Spaniard friend said, "This restaurant won't get any customer in Spain. They do believe u are what u eat. U eat shit, that's mean u are..... *evil laugh*". Well, at least we forced him to get a try and he said the taste is ok, but still, he doesn't want to eat it. Btw the ice cream is Haagen Dazc. Hahaha..

Me and Friends

 4. 豫园 Yu Yuan
Oh men too much beautiful places in Shanghai that u should visit. Maybe u got tired to read "u should come" in all numbers, but really, u should come this place too! Hahaha.. U'll find a lot of chinese merchandise here and taste some of delicious foods. There is a dumpling shop (i forget the name), but it is really really famous. U didn't need to know the brand, just look where is the longest queue in Yu yuan near the bridge, and u will know what they are waiting for. Yu yuan sells a lot of cute stuffs but u really need have a negotiation skill. If u wanna buy a panda chain, they open about 15 RMB, and u can ask them for 5 RMB/each. Beside all the cute stuff, u can enjoy the beautiful old chinese architecture and it is more beautiful with the lamps in the night.

Ok, I really dislike this photo coz me and Jess are so small, and there is a man's head in the left side. But the background just so beautiful to be missed.. :)

Yu Yuan in the evening

Good friends met in Shanghai

I still have a dozen of beautiful recommended places to visit in Shanghai. But i'm too busy recently to update my blog. That's why I post this post first ya.. Stay tune for the next beautiful places to be visited in Shanghai. I promise will write it soon :)

Shanghai post #2

For the second post, I wanna share a little of my feeling about this summer course and also Shanghai. As I mentioned before, I feel so glad to be a part of this awesome course. I'm happy to know and have a great friends from other countries. I spend 6 weeks in Shanghai, since that, I feel so close with my new friends and feel so familiar with Shanghai. Fyi, this is my second time go to China, and I'm happy to have a chance visiting one of the best city in the world, Shanghai.

My friends are come from Korea, Spain, Indonesia, Africa, China itself, America, Italy, etc. Mostly I spend my time with my close friends from Spain, Korea and Indonesia.

Well, the first week I arrived in Shanghai made me a bit depress, because I had no friend. I join this summer course with a close friend of mine, Jessica and her sister, Maya. We went to several places, having breakfast-lunch-dinner only 3 of us on the first week. I talked to Jeng that this would be so bad if we keep traveling around only for 3 of us for the whole summer course. One the second week, there was a good moment when I was in lift and met with some friends from Africa and China. Then we also had a new friends from Korea and Spain. I will introduce them in the later post.. hahaha..

I love Shanghai, not only because it is one of the metropolitan city, but also coz it really leaves me a great memories. Shanghai has a good public transportation. I had never known how is the feeling to be in MRT before came to Shanghai. It is good. And I also love the bus there. I compare it with Indonesian public transportation, such as mikrolet, metro mini, kopaja, transjakarta, etc. It just soooo make me shy. Dirty, have no rule, messy, not safe, etc. And can't be denied, Shanghai is so much safer than my hometown. I love Indonesia so much, really. But I really wish Indonesia can be better in all aspect. You can see how clean, beautiful, and safe other country. How can Indonesia attract foreigner to come if the locals itself feel anxious everywhere, everytime, everyplace.. Hahhaa.. Somehow, I know Indonesia will be as good as other country, but dont know when.. Wish it will be asap. Goodluck!

The Public Bus

Great View of Shanghai

Sunset in Shanghai

Summer Course in Shanghai part #1

Haii.. longg time no post yaa.. Actually i wrote something 2 months ago by my phone, but it was a stupid connection and all i wrote was all deleted. And my heart broke.. so I decide to write in on my computer instead. Hahaha..

Some of my friends maybe know that I was having a summer course in China. I was back to Indonesia about 1 week ago, so recently posts will talking about my experiences in there :)

I feel so happy to have the second chance to have a summer course in China with Jessica (again), and this time is longer and more fun. I have a chinese short course (6 credits) in Shanghai Normal University for 6 weeks, and I was join in the advance class [it was divided as 3 classes, beginner - intermediate - advance]. My class consist by 11 people: 6 Indonesian, 1 American, 3 Japanese, and 1 Korean.

Shanghai Normal University

My Class Member and the Teachers

The Chinese courses programme is quite good and I'm very very grateful I join in this courses. I found many friends over the world, improving my Chinese and English skill, and exploring Shanghai, of course :)
I have too much things to be shared and I'm thinking to divide it be several parts. For today's post, I will post the random general info. Hahaha.. This is some awesome view of my university..

The view from the balcony of my dorm

View of a Garden Beside of My Dorm

My class is held from Monday to Friday, from 8.30-11.00 and 11.30-12.00. I have the different teacher for each shift, and I love them both. They know how to teach university students, have a lot of creative way in teaching, and always have ideas to force us to elaborate our skills.

Shanghai Normal University itself have 2 areas. Each area has a lot of buildings. My dorm and class are located in the different areas. But it is so near. We just need to cross a big road, a very short bridge and arrive. I was spotted a beautiful colourful flowers everyday I cross the road. It is quite weird coz it is blooming every morning I went to class, and all shriveled when I walked back to my dorm, and will blooming again in the next morning. Hahaha..

The Colourful Flowers

The View from the Very Short Bridge to My Campus

Nan Da Lou (南大楼） - I study in this building

Shanghai Normal University

 And how I love the path in my school. It is wide, very clean, and I love the trees along the path.. U can see the first photo above and the photo below. I love to take a walk in the evening by myself since Jess is too lazy to accompany me to. Lol

The Path in My University

Beautiful tree

And one of the interesting things in my school, as the usual Chinese people, they like to have an evening dance. You can find a group of people are dancing, wherever. On the road, garden, etc. And there is a group of people who always dance in the back of my school. Usually when I walk to have a dinner in the back of my school, I will find them. The moment when I shoot this photo, they feel a little shy but they keep dancing. hahaha

And the other good things of course the food! I will post about the delicious yet very cheap foods, my lovely worldwide friends, and a dozen of great places to go in Shanghai soon.. Stay tune yaa :D

Mulutmu, Harimaumu

Akhirnya mood menulis gw mulai muncul belakangan ini, hanya saja agak sibuk jadi suka tersendat. Heheh.. Nah hari ini gw mau memenuhi janji gw lagi untuk membahas salah satu dari 2 tema menarik yang gw janjikan kemarin itu..

Mulutmu, Harimaumu.

Semuanya pasti sering denger tentang ungkapan ini, dan gw yakin semua tau apa maksud dari ungkapan ini. Mulutmu adalah harimaumu. Mulutmu yang akan memojokkanmu, membahayakanmu, memakanmu, membunuhmu, menghancurkanmu, dan lain-lain, dan lain-lain.

Kemarin itu gw sempet mengalami sebuah kejadian. Sangat simpel, cuma memberikan kesan cukup dalam dan memberikan pelajaran bagi gw. Seringkali kita tau, cuma kita lupa. Gw yakin pelajaran yang mau gw share ini sangat familiar dan diketahui semua orang, cuma sayangnya ga semua orang bisa terus mengingat dan menerapkannya dalam kehidupan.

Ceritanya simpel, intinya temen gw (A) mengalami suatu kejadian. Kejadian yang sangat simpel dan ga memalukan atau mengandung aib apapun menurut gw. Karena itu gw dengan santai menceritakannya ke temen gw (B), yang juga merupakan teman sepermainan yang cukup dengan B. Nah kesalahan pertama adalah, seringkali apa yang kita anggep bukan masalah, tapi bagi orang lain itu adalah masalah. Gw ga menceritakan secara detail, tapi intinya seperti itu..

Gw merasa itu hal biasa aja, dan sejujurnya gw ga merasa gw salah sampai saat ini. Cuma dari kejadian tersebut, gw baru sadar kalau kita ga bisa menganggap atau bahkan mengharapkan semua orang untuk berpikir sama dengan kita. Kita ga akan pernah tau apa yang dirasakan orang lain karena kita ga berada di dalam posisi mereka. Seringkali kita mengeluarkan kalimat-kalimat yang biasa aja, tapi ternyata itu menyakiti hari orang lain. Kalo kata mama, ini adalah dosa paling berat yang harus dipikul. Kita tanpa sadar menyakiti hati orang dan kita ga tau sehingga kita ga bisa minta maaf. Pas tiba masa kita harus masuk dalam api penyucian (ini merupakan kepercayaan Katolik bahwa saat nanti kita meninggal, agar kita bisa masuk ke dalam Sorga, kita harus masuk ke api penyucian agar bisa bebas sepenuhnya dari dosa), kita baru mengetahui dosa ini dan semua uda terlambat.

Nah kembali ke kejadian tadi, pokonya sempat terdengar perkataan ketus yang kurang mengenakan hati. Cuma gw pikir, pasti dia lagi dilanda banyak masalah dan gw yakin dia ga benar-benar memaknai kalimat yang diucapin. Cuma ini salah satu juga hal yang harus diperhatikan. Saat lagi emosi, lebih baik diam. Karena biasanya tanpa sadar kita malah mengeluarkan kalimat-kalimat menusuk yang lebai, yang mungkin sebenernya kita ga bermaksud sampai seperti itu. Pas amarah reda, kita uda lupa sama kalimat kita, cuma orang yang mendengar bakal ingat selamanya. Oleh karena itu, always watch ur mouth, think before speak, karena dia yang bisa mengeluarkan kalimat indah yang membawa kita terbang ke langit ke tujuh. Tapi dia juga yang bisa mengeluarkan kalimat busuk yang membunuh diri sendiri di kemudian hari. Sekian posting hari ini :)

Trip #2: Don't Walk, Keep Run! Running Man!

Hy, it's been a long time since the last post I said I wanna post a several posts, but in fact, I just posted 1 post. Lol! Ok, to fulfill my promise, I wanna post the next trip now. It was another fun trip with my best friends. How I love every moment I spend with my bestie.. It was Running Man!!

Dicky found an event organizer that organize a Running Man games. We had already booked it for 16th March, but it had been cancelled by the EO exactly one day before, after we fully paid it! What the.. So we postponed it until we passed the mid test and tried to found the other schedule. Finally we got the schedule on 9 May 2013 (postpone for 2 months, graow)

We had a trouble at the time of departure. We planned we met at 8am and there were be 3 cars. 9 May was Ascension day of Jesus Christ, btw.. So I went to the church on 6am and got home on 7.30, did some preparation and met up on 8. But stupid Dicky, he was overslept and just woke up when Indra came to his home. It was almost 8. And the worse thing happened when he realized that his car was been driven by his Dad! Since then, we change our plan and crammed on only two small cars for 12 people. Hmm..

As mentioned, our members was 12 people, 4 women and 8 men. So we was divided as 4 teams, each team had 1 woman and 2 men. And it was start:

1. We met the EO and they split us by gender. Women followed A, and men followed B. Me and other 4 friends, they were Jejeng, Vira and Dana, walked to the beach (we played in Ancol) and stopped on a spot. Then we should play "Scissor, Paper and Rock game" and the loser would be left there. I got the bad feeling, and yea, I was the first loser. So I was stopped on the first stop and they continued walk along the beach. Since we were 4 person, it had 4 stops. And what we should to do, we just need to play a "hide and seek" from the men. It was awkward. A girl with a tiny backpack, looks confused and looking around with cautious attitude. So I decided to hide in female toilet! Hahaha!!

I though the game was started. Because in the real Running Man, there was a game that the member should hide for about 30 min and if they didn't get caught, they will get the running ball. So I stay in toilet, chatting with my other 3 friends (asking each conditions) for more than 1 HOURS! Luckily the toilet was clean. Finally, I gave up and show myself to the public. And the men who found me were also too exhausted to be happy. We just greet each other and walked slowly to the EO (no chasing scenes).

And to be disappointed, the game hadn't started yet. It was the way how they divided us to 4 groups. The men who found the girl will be one group. Damn! We were tired even before the game starts.

2.  We get our early-lunch -- this part is not important to be described. Lol!

3. First game, finally. Every girls need to demonstrate without a sound, and the men had to guess. Sounds easy? Ok, we must demonstrate and guess about indonesian proverb!! And my team was the loser (again). Hahahaaa

4. Second game, The man should carry a woman on the shoulder, walked up to the the prescribed point, then move her to a second man. The woman can't step on the ground during the transfer process. Then the second man walked back to the other prescribed point. They looking for the team who can finished it less than 20 seconds! (if im not wrong) Hell. But finally, my team was the fastest team! We finished it just about 17 second. B)

But we had played it for three times to be the winner. Hahaha.. We had fallen in the second chance. It felt a little itchy when I fell on the grass, and my legs were cramping. Ckck..

5. Third game. This is the most 'gaje' game. I dont know how to describe this game, but believe me, this game wasn't fun at all but my team win this game.

6. And we came to the last game. (See, we waited for 2 months and just playing this very very short game. huh. However they promised us to give us more games for the previous cancellation. the EO is not professional enough, seriously). It was the time when we need to pull off another participant nametag. And stupid my leg, it cramping very hard when we want to start the last session. So my team waited for about 5 minutes then we start the game. This part was so silly yet exhausting. Everybody looks so brutal and there were some mission to attack one team first, and some betrayers were appear during this section.

We play hard. We got our white t-shirt so dirty by the dirt. We chasing. We laughing. And everybody enjoy the games.

Btw, like on the real Running Man, there would be the last part when we should take a draw by our running ball. And again, my team was the loser! What happen to my luck that day! Although we got 3 running ball. Damn. Kevin should wore hot pant, me a frizzy colourful wig, Fery wore bridal headbands. We should found 5 people to take a photo with us, and that's it..

I should have more quality times with my lovely best friends.. Hahaha.. Some of our photos:

After the last game. Exhausted faces are all around

Me and Jejeng - before the game

Me and Jejeng - after the game

My Running Man Outfit