The ups and downs happen recently in my life really makes me wanna scream out all that fvcking things. I find a new truth in life, when u finally come to the work life, your characteristic will be changed more or less. I found myself to become more impatient, easily get angry by a small thing, sensitive, etc. At all, I become a very sensitive nuclear than ready to explode once you touch me. And the bad thing is, it's only explode inside, so it only harm me.
Some stones in my work life (fyi, I'm a chinese teacher in a private school based in west jakarta), firstly is happened by a stupid mid-year lady who taught wrong a chinese word to her students. I try to correct her POLITELY coz I think she was careless, and as the result, she can't accept the truth that she taught the wrong and blame me as the one who act too "Hermione" (aka sok tau). It's not over there, she told her students (yah, in front of the class) to not listened to my words, cause I am sok tau, etc. She scolded my student who wrote the CORRECT one, threat them won't check their homework if they write my correct answer, will count it as a mistake in the exam. FYI, 100% the correct one is mine not her, even the head teacher said so.
Yaaa.. one of an exemplary teacher, does she?
Since then, I feel uncomfortable and unhappy to work in my current place. I've never liked to have problem with anybody, even the fault is not on my feet. The next irritating things are also made in this place. So, teachers have already arranged one semester academic calender for all levels test schedule. They placed the last exam (2 lessons) only separated by 3 days with the final exam which included 8 lessons, wtf. So it's so hard to arrange time for the preparation of the last exam and final exam. Even worse, my class is the lowest level of all (they divided the class by the level, and I'm so lucky to got the lowest one) which means, my class is fulled by all talkactive but empty-brain students.. Oh ya, I forget to tell the important info, it's not my classes actually, I just subtitute a teacher since he got a broken leg. So suddenly I need to read and prepare all the things, damn shit.
The frustrating thing is, after all the dense schedule I have, suddenly the teacher change the test schedule, however I haven't finished teaching them the materials. On the other hand, these students can't work well with me. They keep talking, playing, walking around the class with me in front of the class trying to manage them. Honest to say, I feel like teaching a remote students, have no attitude and moral. Until this moment, I taught them around 6 meetings already. If I can say, they are now SO MUCH better, more manageable than my first meet, but they're still far from my expectation. Well, I'm a perfectionist and always put a high expectation in everything.
Besides the internal teachers and students, my friends are also annoying! Well, during teaching these wild-students, I got mad for several times. And to be truth, I've never want to get mad with them, who the hell like scolded people eh? Everybody wish they can be a fun teacher, teaching in a fun way. I do it to my intermediate level students, but never success to applied to the lowest level students. I almost got mad in every meetings, just because I failed to stay on the second shift of my teaching schedule. That damn students keep trying test my patient limit. If I stay on the first shift, they'll become wilder on the second shift, wtf!
So after the class, I'll open my phone and start replying my friends' chat and told them my ire story. And their response are never calm me down. They tend to blame I'm wrong to got mad, that I need to manage myself, I need to find the way blablablaa.. Well, for God sake, I'm studying teaching chinese as a second language of other language speakers. I damnly know all those shits. But wait until u come to the reality, find the super students in the super tight schedule, that u need to complete the lesson but your student keep busying their own sake, u trying to attract them in a good way but they don't care coz Chinese is not attracting as English. All you can to do to grab their attention for instant is just by shout aloud and scold the naughty students.
So my moral message is, never look down Teacher. I'm used to be underestimated by people. When they think Chinese lit is an easy subject, not important, not cool enough. Teacher is a low job, have no money, no prestige. Is an easy matter. Teacher can't get angry. They need to understand students. If the students lazy, it's a teacher task to attract the lesson. Well hey, I agree this thought, but at all still need see the students team work. And since you already know and I won't deny, teacher salary in Indonesia is too pathetic. So with this low payment and a lot of tasks, u wish we can stay sweet and smile to all students? Let me disappointing you, we're not a saint. If you good enough than me, go there, face that super students, okay? Then I'll give you the right to blame me anything. :)