Tuesday 22 July 2014

Another mellow post maybe? I force myself to never show others about my feeling except happiness. But I'm not that kind of strong peoplee.. So, here is my diary on cloudy Tuesday..

I'd dreamed my best friend these two days.. There, I was holding his hand whenever and wherever we went just simply because I was too afraid of losing him, however I'd already. Tbt, I've only dreamed him 3 times since the day he gone. So these two days are great since I can finally meet him and doing stuff together, however it's only in a dream. I miss him so much.

I was on my way to my office and heard an ambulance sirens. My tears came out as sudden as the sirens came.
I was searching a contact begins with his initial, and my eyes stop on his name.
I was passing a restaurant we'd ever mentioned to try but we never, and I just pause for a while.
I was online on facebook and occasionally saw his name on my forever-offline friend list. 

I can never really understand why he go this fast. From all the friends I have, why must him. For a century of my lifetime, why should now. There're some moments I keep asking myself why-should and how-if questions. The truth that all of my chats' notifications will never changed to be read is just....hurt. You will never understand my feeling, but for a thousand times I said, I miss him, miss him, miss him, miss him, miss him. He is so nice and I miss him. He is the only friend who didn't ashamed told others including his girlfriend, that the only congratulation he'd been waiting for the whole day was mine, and I miss him. He is the one who always trusts that I'm strong and I can always pass the storm in my life and I miss him. He is he is he is whatever anything bout him, I miss him. 

That are infinite numbers between 0 and 1. There's .1 and .12 and .112 and an infinite collections of others. Of course, there is a bigger infinite set of numbers between 0 and 2, or between 0 and a million. Some infinities are bigger than other infinities. I want more numbers for him than he got. --(edited) Fault in Our Stars, pg. 260

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